Man vs. Woman

I was at lunch with a fellow EA a few weeks ago and as usual we were discussing our jobs and having a bit of a grumble about our work. My friend was having a particularly bad time with her boss, who just happened to be female. Their relationship had become so terrible that my friend went so far as to say she “would never work for a woman again”! Coming from a ‘women’s lib’ sort of background I was quite shocked and somewhat disappointed that a woman would say this about another woman. But having conducted a little bit of research on what the differences are between male and female bosses I now see that this question is constantly being asked and the results are fascinating, and especially relevant for Assistants. 

According to a recent survey, conducted by professor Felice Batlan, of 142  legal secretaries not one said they would prefer to work for a female partner. In another study by the American Management Association, of those women surveyed, 95% said they had felt undermined by other women during their career.

Having read the various studies online I thought of two things; do the results show that sexism is still widespread in the workplace or do distinct differences between how men and women manage their assistants actually exist? Let’s face it not every female boss is Miranda Priestly from The Devil Wears Prada and not every man is the same as Dolly Parton’s sleazy boss in Nine to Five. These are extreme  and stereotypical examples. Nevertheless, I’ve worked for both men and women and there have been differences in their management style… on reflection, here are a  few of my observations

Female Managers:

  • Female managers are more likely to see their assistant as an extension of themselves. This is both in terms of how you present yourself and also the quality of your work.
  • Linking in with the first point, in my experience female bosses take your performance at work personally, if you make mistakes it can sometimes be hard for them to let it go.
  • All of the women I’ve assisted have worked incredibly hard to climb the corporate ladder which is inspiring and very motivational. BUT don’t expect women to always champion other women especially if it is a predominately male culture with few senior roles available to female executives.
  • However, on the whole my female managers have been a lot more interested in my career, job performance and general well being. They are aware that if you have a bad day at work there may be underlying problems at home and will ask you rather than ignore it!
  • All of my female bosses have been great at delegating jobs and responsibilities to me. I’ve found they like to have an assistant and have used my skills effectively.
  • I have never been asked by another women to make her a cup of tea!  

Male Managers:

  • I’ve had some very supportive managers that are men and do want to know about your personal life but probably not too much detail!
  • Surprisingly men can get quite emotional at work but will channel their frustrations by quite happily shouting and swearing at you and will not think that this might be offensive or rude.
  •  In my experience men can be quite unorganised but are less likely to admit needing help on the big issues. Instead they will give you small and sometimes insignificant tasks which makes them feel like they are still delegating work.
  • This may be just the industries I’ve worked in but most of my male managers have felt the need to correct my work even if there is nothing wrong with it or is based on a matter of opinion.
  • Men are more likely to praise and reward good work and going beyond what is required of you.
  • Unfortunately men do tend to be more senior and respected in the work place, which does make it easier for assistants  to do their job

Looking back over the years I’ve enjoyed elements of working with all of my managers so I’m not necessarily sure their differences were gender specific or personality driven. At the moment I assist three men and they couldn’t be more different in their approach. I’d love to know your thoughts on this one… I think when all is said and done it is really the luck of the draw if you get along with your boss!

This entry was posted in Office Politics, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Man vs. Woman

  1. K Nicholls says:

    In my last role I worked for a women, we had a great relationship. She was interested in me and my development and 100% saw me as part of her team and I was treated as such. I was called to account when something hadn’t gone right but also celebrated with when we had our successes. That said, she was practically unbearable to organise; never responded to emails, always overran and often her own behaviour and reactions were unpredicatable.

    I now support 2 male execs, strangely one is exactly the same as her when it comes to working style and is so unorganised its unbearable, yet refuses to admit that he needs help and we most definitely have a more formal relationship than I had with my previous boss. The second gentleman that I work for is incredibly organised anyway and as a result I do get given very menial tasks to complete.

    The perfect boss – female, organised herself so just gives direct instructions and allows me into her work and take things that will challenge me off her! Any offers…???

  2. Rose says:

    Hi, I work for a female boss who happens to work 24/7 and expects me to do the same. Mistakes or errors are “not tolerated” – her words not mine. I work 10 hours a day and nothing is ever just the way she wants it. She has low emotional intelligence and doesn’t understand the impact of her outbursts on the rest of the workforce. Needless to say – I’ve now resigned and The Devil Wears Prada has definitely reared her nasty side. She’s taken my resignation as a personal slight on her and commanded that my resignation is confidential until such time as she decides to inform people……..deep sigh. Just reinforces my decision. In saying this – I’ve had the same sort of behaviours from male bosses surprisingly. The best manager I ever had was an ex-special forces South African who was a perfect gent – firm but very fair and a true joy to work with – the difference is in whether you work for or work with your manager. Rose

  3. Sheree Johansen says:

    My job experience has been mostly with male executives. The more experienced they are the better they treated and respected me. If they have had bad assistants in the past, they appreciate a good one. That said, some have been super organized and smart and a few not so much. I’ve had two female bosses. One was the most wonderful and supportive person I’ve ever worked for and one was just terrible. My take on women bosses is this: if they are secure in themselves and happy in their personal life, they will be good to you. If they are insecure and jealous, or unhappy in their personal lives, they can make your job miserable. I would happily work for either, but I would really try to get a feel for the person in an interview before accepting a job.

  4. Adrianne says:

    I have worked for both and prefer men to women. Men have a knack for keeping business and personal life separate; whereas women, tend to intermingle personal and professional lives. I like to keep mine separate and can handle a man’s bad behavior in the work place since I know it’s not personal. Women on the other hand always keep you guessing if it is personal or professional. I don’t like to play around with my work life. Simple.

Leave a comment